2012年4月23日 April 23rd is "Fuck the Earth Day"

"April 22nd. Earth Day. A day when people around the world go the extra mile to care for our delicate planet. A day to remember to recycle, to drive your Prius, to reduce your carbon footprint.

And a day where I like to go around telling everyone I see, 'Fuck the Earth!'

I'm Jack English and I paid for this ad, to tell you about a new and better holiday, April 23rd, 'Fuck the Earth Day!'"

While this video is quite old it's a wonderful classic for several reasons... I'd love to share all of those reasons with you, but frankly speaking I enjoy this video because every-time I see bullshit "Save the Earth" or "Earth Day" propaganda I want to puke. Then I remember April 23rd is Fuck the Earth Day, and I end up smiling. As someone else once put it, 

"[T]he whole green movement wasn[']t created to help the [E]arth, it was created so big corporations can charge us more money for things that are "green." [F]uck that shit, if [I] want to drive a hummer over a pack of polar bears while eating zebra steak, [I'm] going to fucking do it. [F]uck hippies and fuck being green"

When some people tout that saving the Earth is important I almost invariably start talking about mass suicides, or rather, complete extermination of the human race. Not because I believe we deserve to die, but if the objective is to save the Earth, then us being here in any capacity other than how the Hopi indians lived will not help the Earth. 

"But we need to be here to save the Earth!" some might say. Save the Earth? What happens if a super-massive solar flare or black-hole comes out of nowhere and fucks Earth to shit? I don't think our insurance would protect us from something that catastrophic, or interesting for that matter.

Also if one were to look at aerial photos of before and after urban sprawl, one might learn to agree with me. We're doing more damage than good. My sources? Well a source is CNN, which is questionable on politics, but then again what isn't politics? More info here, http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/world/road-to-rio/satellite-photos-urban-sprawl/index.html?hpt=wo_mid

Who doesn't love a little
bling-bling?!

Just "[r]emember, Global Warming is just a theory, like the evolution or the metric system." Because even if things do get worse or better depending on how you feel about mass chaos, there is still hope, at least from Jack English,

"Learn to swim. And eat fucking rocks- people! Swim... And eat rocks. Happy Fuck the Earth Day"

So let's go drive our cars, use our Ipods from China, let's liter, flush the toilet more than once a day, shower for more than 3 minutes, and buy new clothes that were made in other countries -- I haven't even gotten to mention how much oil is used to transport useless goods (i.e. shit) from one shit country to another.

Sure people can argue saying, "Oh I've donated this or that!" But realistically it's bullshit. Anytime you buy a DVD, a new car, fuck-- Especially a sports-car! A big truck, anything plastic, anything that gets less than 70MPG, not growing your own garden (community or otherwise) you're failing the Earth. Besides do you really expect me to believe you're going to give up your bling-bling (designer, coffee-latte enema, fashion, whatever-car) so the earth feels better for .000000000000004 seconds? I doubt it.

So let's celebrate, "Fuck the Earth Day", because if global warming is a serious problem, why haven't we caused a nuclear winter yet?
Peace out. Fuckers.