2012年4月10日 READ ME: What is IIF?

Fiction
Somewhere,
someone is entertained

Amazingly I have a huge number of readers from overseas, or at least that's what the stats page says. It wouldn't surprise me if someone genuinely believed that my "Is it fiction?" stories to be true. Fortunately, I label them as fiction, but unfortunately a lot of people often forget to read the labels.

What do I write about when I write fiction? 

God, alcoholism, drugs, depression, life, introspection on writing fiction, quotes that affect writing fiction, and a lot of other things. Surprisingly outside of prescription drugs (prescribed to me), I have (honestly) never tried drugs before. I've stood next to people getting high on marijuana, but outside of that haven't done them nor do I have much of a desire to try them.

The bottom line is that they are fictional stories. I've had some people write to me saying they enjoy them more than my filthy porno-commentary. And this is why I periodically continue writing fiction. I suppose it's also why when I get concerned emails about my "heroin" addiction, I'm eager to write more. 

It has been said that "A half truth is [considered to be] the worst kind of lie[,]" which is exactly why I call my stories fiction, instead of "Honest to God Truth Reveal."

Anyhow, here are some tidbits from my "Is-It-Fiction?" work.

***

Am I less myself when I try to understand myself? I don't know. Or am I more? I don't know. Should I know who I am? I want to know. Who really knows who I am, outside of myself? I want to know.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Fuck you Franklin.

What is liberty? What does it mean to have emotional or spiritual liberty? Certainly some structured foundations could accommodate this on a case by case basis, but I could also show how one without structure could also have liberty.

***

Putting the car in gear I felt invincible driving back to the office. I finished beer about two-thirds of the way there, and threw it out the window at an intersection about a quarter of a mile away from my destination. 

***

Sometimes when I feel trouble in life I am reminded of a strategic survival technique that a survivor expert once said,

"Often the greatest issue for people who love to hunt, fish, and adventure in the wilderness is overconfidence. Many times hunters are found 3 days being lost in the woods and the first thing they'll say to the rescuers is "I'm not lost."

The same pride that let them believe their compass was wrong, or that they could keep walking through the night to get out, lasts right until the end where there is no admission they were indeed lost.

As one pushes the other to keep on moving when in fact the best thing to do is to stop, build a shelter, and spend the night." - Les Stroud, Survivorman

***

We'd meet whenever it was convenient for him or if I wanted to check up on him, and mainly this was up to his wife. If she wasn't doing some kind of errand or gardening, he was at home reading or leisurely spending time with her. What does a couple do during retirement? Since they had no children I couldn't imagine that they were always busy. However, I have speculated that Gladys wanted children, but Arturo never talked about it and I wasn't ever going to ask.

***

Frowning, I refocused my attention. Nothing is solved without patience. And that goes for you too. I griped under my breath looking down at my bourbon in hand, using my open hand to stroke my hair back. I have you. We know the rules, and you won't leave me if I want you to stay. For a moment I expected the crow on the bottle's label to reply, but nothing happened. 

***

I had to remind the reader that IIF stands for "Is-It-Fiction?" which means it is a combination of truth, fiction, or is a half-truth(s), the latter of which we all know "is the worst kind of a lie." Sometimes I use half-truths when writing fiction, and that's why it's called "fiction."

I almost should call it Friction Fiction, because whatever I talk about in the fiction realm seems to get the most attention and "friction" with my audience. I could puke, but I'm having too much fun maintaining my smile, due to epic amounts of heroin and liquor.

---

If you want to read more about fiction, click the label on the right.

2011年10月7日 Detectives "and Tags"

I like detective-anything, although I usually do not read a lot detective novels or stories. Most of the time I watch them. As for the idea of a detective-anything, I have found that character isolation to be extremely important. The idea that a person is alone and knows it, yet escapes into his or her work regardless of the cost socially, emotionally, or spiritually is a defining characteristic of a detective, let alone a wizard or great spiritual leader, although the later of which is a separate subject.. Most detectives, including those in medical professions (see House), often spend more time at work or constantly go back to thinking about work regardless of what they are doing or ought to do.

This is part of the reason I do not like Batman to some extent, as he is unable to interact with people except on a superficial level. He is constantly thinking about criminals and stopping crime at all hours, so that he can satisfy his insecurities. Batman does not enjoy interacting with people, and in fact appears to loathe them. His callous expressions almost make one wonder if he is capable of love, and this is confusing for someone who is supposed to be a glorified hero. I digress.

Don't confuse them!

Although I have and will watch Batman movies, T.V. and occasionally when I was younger I read the comics, I did not actually like Batman himself. I did not like Bruce Wayne, and I did not see any reason to like him either. I actually liked the Joker more, because I felt like Batman had more limitations than the Joker, such as Batman's obsessive compulsive tendencies/disorder. Moreover in comparison, the Joker to me seemed to be much more human, if not beyond such, due to his ability to negotiate his feelings and understanding of such better than Batman. Often Batman used of his anger as a tool to get what he wanted, and to me is a degree of emotional negligence. He uses his insecurities as a way to exact vengeance, and because he is unable to forgive, he in a major sense, is never just in his behavior; therefore, glorification of him is almost as repugnant as thanking Ted Bundy for raising awareness of rape-murder. Unlike the Joker, Batman will never be satisfied with anything. But these are fictional characters and unrealistic, except for Ted Bundy. Do not confuse with Al Bundy.

Backtracking to House, who in my opinion instead of isolating himself with work alone, isolates people from himself, and not himself from people. Yet sometimes he does both at the same time, and I believe it is to prevent him from being bored. Nothing shuts off in his mind, there is no break time. In fact, having a break in itself is tedious, and this is why alcohol is extremely important to detectives, including House and drug usage. It's not that the mind is going to be shut off, although it could be with enough alcohol, it is that they must slow down their train of thought so that they can only think of a limited number of tasks at one time. It's like putting a computer in safe-mode. Yes you can use it, but mainly for the really important things. The detectives who do not drink, in my opinion, have serious control issues. The mind will run and should, but the essence of that detective's character will constantly be will him. It is like one's own shadow, but with highlighted and accented features.

Different types of detectives

Most importantly, detectives do not sleep well, or rather would not. And the things they want to talk about, or think about, most would consider tedious, and this isolates everyone, although usually it's the "detective" character. "Detectives" whether professional, private, or in thought are lonely people, whether they are Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon, to Morgan Freeman in Se7en. The last of which I have seen numerous times. I have found detective movies to be movies - duh, but - in movies. Instead of just watching for the plot the way the characters experience it, I have found following a single character and focusing on his or her behavior throughout the film provides a different kind of revelation. It works well with detective films, and no so much with films like The Land Before Time or Debbie Does Dallas. And that's why I brought up detectives in today's post. These are lonely, isolated, and thoughtful people. I'm still not talking about Debbie Does Dallas... Usually the detectives in these movies are good at what they do, even though at times, they do not win and nothing changes with the truth. Sure Batman is one of them, but he usually is never without anger. When he was told his behavior is questionable by someone he loves, he is shocked and says nothing, somewhat knowing that nothing changes with the truth, and with that truth, it is neither a victory nor a loss. The film in which I indirectly elude to is Mask of the Phantasm, and I recommend it, although not for the ending theme. Mark Hamill does a wonderful job with the Joker.

The saddest part about detectives is that they are just picking up the pieces of lives, more often than not, they are trying picking up pieces that they lost or by picking up another's to avoid their own. In reality they are extremely broken and flawed. Even if detectives come in different shapes and sizes, either at the zenith of human physique or unable to run, only gimping around - which I empathize with, see PVNS, - these characters still share the prior statements (I have made) as the basis for their being as an individual and character (be it real or otherwise). And this is why they are good at what they do. This is also why their isolation will never make them happy, and they will never be such. Just as Robert De Niro says in Taxi Driver,

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain."

Detectives are about half of the reason why I like writing an "Is-it-fiction?" section on this blog.
And it's also why looking at tags (LABELS) is important when trying to identify the theme or vague meanings of a post. Otherwise you'd think I'm writing about real life.