I wrote over 900 words (I know, I word counted) in 10 minutes about how I felt about conversation and what it means when someone says, "Don't interrupt me." Frankly speaking I'll save that post for anyone day.
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| It's a celebration bitches! (url) |
Today we celebrated Fozzjnen's birthday, even though today isn't the exact day. Frankly speaking who gives a shit?
As Fozzjnen said in the sauna, "This (being in sauna) makes me feel like I'm at home." As four of us buzzed, albeit less than the birthday boy, celebrated the evening and his birthday while naked (in his sauna). I can't tell you what it's like. But it's not alien. What's alien is not being in the sauna, and not being at home. Everyone in the sauna told Fozzj that "You are home!" Because it's time that he doesn't have to worry about anything like that.
It's time that he realizes this is the choice he made, especially since now that he has a son, career is set in stone (more or less), he doesn't have to leave or feel alien anymore. He just has to keep finding more stones and keep writing his future down: we're here for him. We can look for more stones, but of course we don't get to fashion them or write shit down for him, that's his job, although I'm sure he'll ask if he can type it instead of chiseling. Actually the same could be said of my own life, or maybe even yours. We get to decide where home is, and if we don't feel like this is home, why are we making this place home? should be a serious question that's asked, as an adult, at least once a week.
It was nice to share a good evening with him, even though at some point he got as violent as my mom when she was drunk listening to Tracy Chapman. But that wasn't the issue, that's another issue, a fearful issue. It reminded me of someone else I know. A person who said they want to hurt other people so they can be stopped. It was hard to watch a part of this with Fozzjnen, but frankly speaking I know it's more of a Fight Club thing. Because with Fight Club at least there is a moment where the destroyer says exactly what's wrong, and the - spoiler alert - other guy (who is an alternate ego to the destroyer) says (to himself) "Where'd you go psycho boy?" But this shit doesn't matter, because it's just a small part.
The issue, beyond smidgen of Fozz's above-mentioned stress, is that those who weren't there were missing out on a secret road of life. If you don't go into the hills, in a certain location, how the fuck can you see the full view of the city? Now of course, I told you how! Go to the hills! But what about going to yourself? Overlooking your own hills in life? Sauna can help, or meditation? Sauna-meditation?!
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| Takes a special kind of man to drink naked next to his friend |
In our case? Well first and foremost, the beer helped, but really what helped was the nakedness. With the nakedness there were no more illusions. We didn't subscribe to bullshit anymore, titles, money, whatever. We were all equal for a moment or so, as the sauna got hotter and steam burned the "scalp" of the "Silver Fox" - shit you not Fozzjnen called him that - next to me. As SF griped, I ended up smiling since the steam in the sauna is like another way to show fun. You don't have to lie to yourself anymore when you're in the sauna or anyone else for that matter.
I shit you not, being in a sauna and letting go of the bullshit in life is so important, so much so that at least 70 percent of the time this importance reminds me of the value of hope. I can tell you I have shared the sauna with a lot of different people, even with a distant cousin: the Japanese onsen, but those who can't get over the nakedness have something seriously wrong in my opinion. Why? Because if you're only worried about being naked and it's not a religious thing, then really it's just another bullshit limitation.
That's what I discovered today, not another bullshit limitation, but a way to go beyond the bullshit limitations. And what better way than to watch that limitation whither, when Fozzjnen celebrates his birthday by getting a birthday hug from his son. Of course beering it up later and sharing life helped too. Honesty tends to do that. But this honesty isn't the shameful honesty of being honesty with strangers and not those close to us, it's being honest with ourselves, without the illusions.
I shit you not, being in a sauna and letting go of the bullshit in life is so important, so much so that at least 70 percent of the time this importance reminds me of the value of hope. I can tell you I have shared the sauna with a lot of different people, even with a distant cousin: the Japanese onsen, but those who can't get over the nakedness have something seriously wrong in my opinion. Why? Because if you're only worried about being naked and it's not a religious thing, then really it's just another bullshit limitation.
That's what I discovered today, not another bullshit limitation, but a way to go beyond the bullshit limitations. And what better way than to watch that limitation whither, when Fozzjnen celebrates his birthday by getting a birthday hug from his son. Of course beering it up later and sharing life helped too. Honesty tends to do that. But this honesty isn't the shameful honesty of being honesty with strangers and not those close to us, it's being honest with ourselves, without the illusions.
It was nice and wonderfully raw.
Until I was kicked in the head by Fozzjnen when I bent down to stretch my knee.
Beer does that to people sometimes.
Beer does that to people sometimes.
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