2011年5月16日 You thought your life was bad?

Through the wall: WAAAHHHHHH!!
Wainwright: What the fuck?!

Looking at the clock he realizes it is somewhere around 6am in the morning. His eyes haven't even opened up yet and like clockwork the sound of a baby head first in a blender once again wakes him up through the wall. Mind you this baby's room isn't even adjacent to his own!

Wainwright: Fuck this.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM


He hammers the wall with the strength of Perkele (or Thor if you don't know Perkele). From what he said I was under the impression my .45 AUTO had some competition. I don't even think the Goatse Girl was pounded as hard as the wall.
Results have yet to come in. Pun intended. (Efukt NSFA= Not-Safe-For-Anything)

Neighbor chick: (Yelling through the wall) DON'T FUCKING BANG ON THE WALL, COME OVER AND FUCKING ASK ME (unintelligible)...

Wainwright: (under the breath) Fuck you bitch, if you didn't want kids close your fucking legs! (Under his breath continued) Why the fuck would I want to get up, put clothes on, and walk to your apartment at 6am to tell your fucking blended babies to shut the fuck up?!

My roommate is super pissed, on top of not hearing back from his probable/future employer, and we both know  that weight of silence from the prior is taking its toll. At this rate, I EXPECT him to walk over to the neighbor's at 5:30 and genuinely give that baby something to fucking scream about. If the kid was retarded, we could understand, but the kid ain't (from what I can see). I mean the poor fucker isn't eating his own shit or flinging it, although that would be fucking hilarious, for the first 10 minutes, and then it would probably start to smell....

This has all been happen since we've lived here, and thankfully I sleep soundly. I am well awake when the baby starts crying so for me it's nothing new. I almost laugh, because:

1. I am not a stupid fucker with children.
   
2. All my potential children get flushed down the toilet. If only I could hear them scream! A vortex of damning putrid waters!
   
3. At least it's on a regular (almost daily) basis
   
4. Free entertainment?

At least my humor remains.