2012年6月24日 "This is my first day"

"Ooooh. He's a virgin!" She said looking over at another employee.
"All I've been told is that it's a 'fun' shift to work on."
She smile at me, and I went back to my assigned tasks.

***

I'm taking a longer break from writing. In the mean time, you can read:
efukt.com <- Not safe for work (NSFW)
treehugger.com
prisonplanet.com
drudgereport.com
or
thesmokinggun.com

2012年6月20日 Throwing Away + Family

My dad told me Sunday the following:

"I thought I saw you after you were walking by with your diploma. I gestured that we should get the fuck outta here and get some drinks. Then I flipped you off. That's when I realized I wasn't gesturing to you and it was someone else."

My mom had surgery for some kind of pre-cancer surgery today. I don't know the details, and she seems to be on the QT regarding the details, but I'm sticking with, "She has cancer." Until the final verdict is in. It's easier for me to prepare for the worst when it never comes, versus preparing on the fly.

Today I also realized that memories, friendship, and tools are more important than anything else. No tool will make me happy, but the best tool I have is knowledge. It's also depressing, because frankly speaking I don't like knowing things sometimes, but it paints a clearer picture that way. I also know that I'll never be able to take everything with me on my adventures, including some people.

***

In the garage there was a box that said, "FUCK ASS HEAVY."

I wrote that on the box about 6 months ago. Like most of my other things, this box had to go, even though it wasn't mine. The dimensions were 16.5 x 18 x 16 inches. It weighed about 40 lbs or more. When I cut it open I was kind of disappointed since it literally was a "FUCK ASS HEAVY" box. Not only was the box heavy in general, but it also had a lot of "FUCK ASS" porn, probably 50 DVDs, a 100 CDs, and over 50 magazines and books of anal porn and spanking. 

"This ALL must be thrown out she said." I wasn't surprised she said that. I was more or less surprised I wasn't given a heads up about it in advance that way I could avoid opening it altogether. I felt bad he lost stuff that I was supposed to be holding onto for him, but I had told him 5 months ago that in March, April, and May, I had to get them OUT immediately. Eventually, I ran out of time, and I couldn't figure out a good time to get them into someone else's hands, nor help them unload the boxes.

The guy who could have picked them up was a frail man who'd be no good lifting even 20lbs, much less lifting 40 lbs of anal porn.

2012年6月4日 "I Am So Happy to Finally Be Back Home"

Khil in 1965

Eduard Khil, 1934-2012, died today.

He's famous for the "Trololo" song, which in actuality is titled, I Am So Happy to Finally Be Back Home.

Who is going to tro(ll) lo(l)lo us now? I'm going to miss listening to people who can make me laugh, or at least help me make them laugh. It's important to have a sense of humor or if humor ever has a sense of you. In either case, I'll just have to trololo my way through today.

See ya later Mister Trololo, 

I hope you made it home.

2012年6月3日 Colors

Orange peel sun.
Purple silhouette hills.
Blue cotton-candy skies.
Cut every which way by gold film.

The sun finally sinks
down onto the purple hills,
resting itself for the evening.

Once the night comes
I see the cynical nihilism.
It comes out too.

Nightmares grow,
like wild weeds.
I can hear their trilling.

The trilling has its own color.
Crows don't fly near it.
You feel it's brown
leathery texture rubbing
your inner-ear drums.

It's terrible.
Our only reaction
is to keep our eyes open.
Praying that the colors
of orange peels will come back.

It's warmth, lost in the evening
Only to come back again.

2012年6月2日 The Amidah

Standing and praying is something I enjoy.

At least until my knee is fucking burning from arthritic pain to the point where I can't concentrate.

I hate it when I can't concentrate because of the pain.

There have been times in my life where pain has literally made whatever I've done uncomfortable to the point where I can't concentrate or perform a task. Whether it's concentration, listening, talking with someone, sex, motorcycling, etc. pain somehow makes doing those things so difficult I almost can't hear anything.

It's miserable.

2012年6月1日 "I like to pay my own debts"

When I can pay of course, or must pay.

She drilled me quickly asking a lot of questions and comments.

"You dress like someone from the 70's."

"It's because of the belt buckle and hair" I said calmly.

"Yes it is."

"Are you violent?"

"No."

"You have a knife on your belt." She pointed at my multi-tool.
"That's a multi-tool, but I also have a knife." I pointed at my side.

"You're allowed to have that? Or you just don't care?"
"I care, and the law is on my side." I went into depth about Oregon knife laws.

"Do you like violence?" She asked.

She asked more questions.

"You're socially awkward aren't you?"

"Yep." I said without hesitation.

The conversation got into religion.

"I'm a Christian."
"I'm a Jew." I smirked.

"You better get ready to repent and accept Jesus. You'll find out."

"Except I like doing business with the father, I'm not ready (nor willing) to do business with the son." I said smiling.

"I like to pay my own debts." I said smirking at her.

She seemed uncomfortable that I would be "willing to go to hell". This kind of shit has happened before with me, but I assured her, "If you're right, I get a second chance anyway."

"But then you know about the tribulation?"

"I don't believe in it."

"But when it happens, why would you want to live through that?"

I said again to her, "I like to pay my own debts, and why not? If your tribulation is real, then why shouldn't I earn my place? I don't believe in a free ride."

2012年5月31日 Who are you talking to?

Walking home a guy talking to himself was walking towards me. He wore only a white tank-top and shorts. I couldn't even see his face, the street was poorly lit. He looked kind of intimidating. Then I heard, "How's it going?" 

He kept approaching, and I said assertively moving away from him, "Good".

Walking away from me, he said loudly,

"What did I see?

Could I believe?

That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy!"

WTF is wrong with this guy. I was thinking. What the fuck was that guy talking about? I didn't see any headphones or anything. Could he believe? Who gives a.... COUUUUULD I BELIEEEEEVE! YEAAAAAHHH! 

Then I got goose bumps and realizing what that guy was saying, which was totally awesome. 

I almost turned around and yelled, 

"SIX-SSSIX-SIX THE NUMBER OF THE BEASSSST!!" 

But I didn't, instead I just gimped home.

Which was probably the worse thing I did today, other thank telling someone that aborted fetuses should be used in place of turkeys for homeless people during thanksgiving. 

If you didn't know, a lot of food shelters have massive amounts of donated food to put on a Thanksgiving feast. I guess the problem with aborted fetuses is how one would make stuffing.

And with that said, who the fuck thought of shoving bread crumbs up the asshole of a decapitated bird and calling it food? 

Someone who has a decent palette for food, that's who.