2014/08/29

2014年08月29日 IFF: Rick Ingram continues

Over the radio a pleasant and soft speaking man, probably with a mustache, said: 
"That was Al Jarreau's, I Will Be Here For You, following up from After All, and Teach Me Tonight, concluding this part of our smooth-grooved block-party weekend.  
We'll follow him up with some Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, with Teddy Pendergrass on vocals. I'm Mark Redd and you're listening KXZP, this is Wake Up Everybody"
Mose reached over to turn down the speakers. I glanced over at him making a face, don't even try it. My face must have been a little more than I wanted to be, since his eyes tightened at me. I shrugged at looked back at the house across the street. It was still warm outside. That's no problem either way. I was told that it might rain tonight, even a light sprinkle. 
Good. Extra cover is always welcomed. 
But this was a doubled-edged sword, because while we'd be covered so would everyone else.
I tried not to think much. Beyond what I should have been doing, I found my mind wandering. A solution to this was on the floor, behind front-passenger's seat. There were still a few beers left, and two energy-drinks -- those were Mose's. The music wasn't loud enough to muffle the sound of the stay-tab from my second or third can of beer.
"Rick, do you think that's a good idea?"
"Where you come off telling me how to do this kind of stuff?" After putting down a third of the beer in one hard sip.
"Why don't you have one yourself? To take the edge off." I continued wiping off excess beer that I had missed, stopping it from running down to my chin.
Mose shrugged and reached behind him for one of the beers. He opened it and took a sip that wouldn't even quench a small bird's thirst. He rested the beer in his lap and gazed back the house, as if he was thinking of something else other than the assignment. His open right hand resting on the left which held his beer looked tense. Watching him was less dramatic and more depressing. He didn't even realize I was staring at him. He's probably moon-bound at this rate. His face went from one of concentration to a somber reflection of yesterday.
It's probably the music. I mused.
"Do you think he's in there?" Mose asked as if he was talking to himself.
"I don't know." Then I took another sip. For Christ's-sake we're going to need more beer. I couldn't focus too much on the assignment either. The music was killing me in its own way, and I didn't like to do back-to-back high risk assignments on short notice.
"Let's get out of here," I said turning on the car lights first then the engine. "We've got better things to do." I signaled, looked in the mirror, and behind my shoulder wondering in case I missed something, and pulled onto the road. Where are we going to go from here? I had a few places in mind, but everything seemed equally boring.
"Rick what's going on?" Mose apparently woke up from his semi-trance.
"We're going to get something to eat and talk. And enough of this music." I quickly switched over to a pre-set pop station to lighten the mood, where surprisingly Al Jarreau was playing. "Goddamn 3 time Grammy winner, in three separate categories."
"There's just no escape!" Mose blurted as he theatrically raised his arms beer in hand.
"There's always an escape." I said, as I signaled towards the freeway on ramp. Out of the corner of my right eye I saw Mose's playful face from a few seconds ago turn grim. He looked away from he out the window.
There's always an escape.
Traffic was light and what normally would take thirty minutes on the highway, took us twenty minutes. Mose had finished his beer by then, and I was working on an extra. I parked the rig along the curb, across the street from the only known and working pay-phone in the city.
My car blended in the way it should: a white Subaru 2005 Impreza. The only difference was that this car wasn't in my name or on the insurance. It made things a lot easier for what I did for a living. No, I didn't steal the car, but an ex-girlfriend here and there sure did help with borrowed transportation. Clean transportation.
I learned right away when I was still carrying a badge that using other people's car could change things up dramatically, so would a wardrobe, and not shaving for a few days. But the thing that I missed was camaraderie. It helped to learn and use as much as I could out here because what I did was significantly more dangerous, because out here I had to be extra careful. No cavalry is going to come and save me. Hell, if I make a mistake, they might be running me down. The clients I get don't ask me to do anything illegal, save for the Nest, but producing the results they want may require some questionable tactics. Out here with no badge, no blues, though I still kept the suit, I'm alone. Save for Mose, I'm alone. No that's not true, I've got others like Pe
"What are we doing here?" I could see Mose was getting irritable wondering why we were stopped but doing nothing
"I'm going to make a phone call, I've got someone to talk to. AND DON'T DRINK ALL THE BEER."
          "I didn't know we had any left." He said smiling at me.

2014/08/28

2014年08月28日 Jealous enough to liquor

Probably one of the more terrifying things a man can experience is jealously. 

This jealously is never healthy for people who are fanatics like myself. My tendencies evolve jealously into problematic and destructive things. For some jealousy is healthy for a relationship, but for me it isn't.

Case number 03189:


I walk into a bar with a friend - he's gay, so what? - and I run into a woman that I have been attracted to over the last year or longer. She's a warm person, if that warmth happened to be in a sauna located in the arctic circle. A complicated woman with many layers. We met online, talked on the phone and went on a few dates, but I don't think she likes younger men (I'm 28 and she's 37). Nothing happened, but we've kept in contact sporadically.



Anyhow, she spots me and waves me over to hug her, which is something I've never done before with her.

"Nice to see you again, but I'm here to get drunk. You look a little busy, so nice seeing you!" 


I said. And that was that. 

There were Wild Turkey shots waiting for me in the lounge area, and not the bar/restaurant area where she was sitting in a red-dress. No I wasn't going to lollygag around waiting to get booze and losing my buzz in the process, even briefly. 

No. Ladies and Gentlemen, and Invited Transgender Species* I was there to drink and hang out. So for me, mission accomplished. Okay, and maybe get laid at some point too, but that's a different story.

So a week passes by and I catch the red-dress woman online, where she brought up my friend. She said that when she hugged me, my guy friend looked jealous as hell.

And her message was expounded with,
"I could feel it, he was not very happy about my existence there." 
I agreed, but at that time when she saw him in the bar I was preoccupied with getting drunk (though I didn't). I was even startled to see her there, since I had strong feelings for her, yet I knew of an answer that could quickly change these feelings.

The Wild Turkey drenched jealously away, at least for me though I didn't seem to have any. If anything seeing her smile at me was like a reminder of wearing a Scarlet Letter, except mine would have been an "S" for spurned. 


You can smell Wild Turkey once the smokey flavors get within a few inches of your nose. Soon after pressing the shot glass to your lips, you begin to start closing your eyes. The glass bottom tipped up towards the ceiling, and then dropping the solution down into your mouth. Like most medicine it tastes like shit, at first; but when the taste-buds adjust, the feeling is different. A few times in my life I had adjusted my feelings to the taste, and while that was a long time ago I at least wrote significantly more.

Not a quitter

Like the jealously of my gay-friend, the feeling did adjust, once he finished his shot sipping it slowly.

I paid, feeling cocky I left 30 percent tip. We left through the lounge entrance and walked around downtown towards the water. Once there we found more places to drink. He invited me to a gay bar. I don't care: they usually have cheaper drinks.


There I drowned out my feelings, be them jealous or not.
I was jealous enough to liquor out of my life, until I woke up the next day.

*To quote Lieutenant Commander Data