2011年9月26日 Sick of sick

I may have mentioned it earlier but I've been sick since Friday. I feel so miserable. I haven't done anything except go to work, buy some books, and go home. I feel worse because I'm so sick that I can't even concentrate on my feelings. I'm frustrated I don't feel sad that Dapl and Fig had popped out of my life quite quickly, both within a month and a half, and somewhat unexpectedly.

I wish I wasn't sick, so I could think of more than just a name or face.

As for both of them, I have no idea if or when I'll ever see them again.

Some how I wish that my feelings regarding this were mention-able and manageable.
So far, I can only find tolerable.

Some people have told me that deep inside there is something that could help us become what we can. What if that goes away? Sometimes I feel like things just chip away, and with chipping comes wax. Is it possible to live a life without such wax replacing the chipping? How does one live sincerely? How does one leave, come, die, and live in such a way?

Is this really the only example in life?

It sucks to lose people who can make us laugh, cry, and think about ourselves.
We're not suppose to enjoy it.