I saw a Depeche Mode t-shirt which gave me an urge to listen to some. Bad idea.
Instead I ended up listening to Lacuna Coil - a band I've seen live, but sounds waaay better in the studio. Their cover of "Enjoy the Silence" (URL here) makes me want to cut myself while crying in a bathtub with the shower on hot. Hello Tuesday afternoon...
As I spend part of this week overcoming frustration, doubt, and grey skies I wonder. I wonder about money, life, the future and what it means. What's important? At this point in my life, I actually don't think money is important. I really don't, yes it helps with goals or tasks. But does money actually make dreams come true? If money does make dreams come true why aren't some of the richest people in America or anywhere else in the world happy? How come rich people get grey hair or frown? If I had a lot of money I would probably blow all of it on prostitutes. I've always had this fantasy of using hookers for life-sized chess games...
Anyhow, I think Ms. Woelke over at Shearim blog has it more or less figured out, at least for herself and certain aspects of my feelings,
All wishes will never be fulfilled
Every human being on this planet has desires, wishes and expectations. There is a theory in psychology that unfulfilled expectations can cause depression. Not all our wishes are being fulfilled. Thta's life and G – d alone decides what we get, what we don’t get and where we succeed or fail.
Most people only seem to concentrate on material things instead of looking at the spiritual side. Let me tell you one thing from experience: Money doesn’t make you happy ! What money does is providing you a secure life without any worries about paying the rent. However, money won’t give you joy but more sorrows. Just wait until the tax authorities will come after you. [sic] - M. Woelke
Right now doing what I love is important, and while I'm not completely there yet I'm working on it. Being around those I love also is part, if not the most important part of that. And I'm getting that more or less. Even if they aren't around when I need them or want them, am I unloved? Unloved? Probably not. Of course it also depends on why I'm loved. Do they care because they give love? Or do they give love because they care?
Once again the rain picks up outside and all I'm left with is myself, for now, and those who want to stick around. Just like I stick around with them. So when I read "All wishes..." I often remember the phrase, "A friend to all, is a friend to none". We have to make choices.
No comments:
Post a Comment