I got home around 1:30 pm. It was a shorter day than normal.
First things first, I dicked around on the computer for a bit, and then put some laundry in the washing machine. On the massage chair I spent 20 minutes getting my lower back massaged aggressively by an automated system, which is probably modeled from large black men still in prison. I'm sure whoever invented the massage chair got his idea from descriptions of prison rape. Around 4 pm I went to lie down since my knee was bothering me among other things.
 |
| LET ME SLEEP |
3:53 AM the next day, I woke up still in pain from my knee. Of course throughout the night I couldn't sleep because of dreams and hearing strange noises in my dreams. - Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
It's frustrating that I spent the whole day trying to recover from frustration regarding my knee only to realize that frustration with it never going to go away, as I'm not a doctor and I can't fix it*. Moreover I have other things I need and want to do which I can fix and can maintain. But as they say, can and want are two different things, if they aren't close cousins.
* I can mitigate the pain, but frankly speaking it will be there regardless of what I do physically, emotionally or intellectually. However, when all those things work at the same time most of the pain and frustration is nonexistent, except when the knee does what it wants anyhow. It's a constant battle of learning to work with a part of me that dominates life.
I can't just give up and ignore it.
I have to work with it because it's part of me and affects how I feel, and negates how I think if I don't.
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