2012年3月19日 A Smile

I tried to smile, but
it was painful.

In life I am usually pretty straight-forward, no bullshit whatever. Unless I'm just bullshiting passing the time, then I say whatever. Anyhow, today I sold my old Star Wars Toys to some lady who was buying them for her 5 year old son. I felt great that I was able to show her how to assemble and "blow up" the speeder bikes. I'm sure she really appreciated it. I was straight forward and made sure she participated in holding the product. Most people who are going to buy something usually know what they want before they walk into the store. For everyone else, there is significant doubt.

Showing the lady how to use and assemble the toys made me feel good, and she seemed eager to learn. I always love being able to hold something in my hands, knowing that the person receiving my instruction also holds the same model or close to it (with limited to no cosmetic or functional difference). It means I can give proper instruction this way, and there is limited to no fuck ups. They hold it, I hold it. I say something, they hear it. I show them, they see it. They participate in the learning process just as I participate in teaching. 

But as the hours passed, it bothered me that the same place I conducted business earlier, I once again ended up at as I informed another, but undecided, customer that I wasn't in business to play games.

I smiled at both women, but only one of them was really happy.

Only one knew what she wanted. One wanted to give, one wanted to give up.

I couldn't make a decision for either, but I reminded both that the choice was in their own hands respectively.

***

A person asked me once to decide for her something important. I tried to explain to her that I can't make a decision for her on something like that. When we make someone feel a certain way, because they give up choice, he or she never really owns their own feelings. I know this too well, and I know it comes with resentment and pain. I know. Sometimes all we have left is the Judgement of Solomon for now. 

For now.