2011年11月22日 T4T: "I'm wet"

Two 4 Tuesday:

Like most of my posts, some fall into the category of "filth" or "hell".

This one is no exception.

Sado-satire warning 

(i.e. epic sarcasm, more info). 

The following is not approved for use by women, men,
or anyone incapable of having a filthy and depressing sense, 

or lack thereof, humor.

When will it end!?

Women and little girls never tell the truth and when they do, it's when they're complaining. Men don't have an opportunity to talk, because when they do "[they']re wrong" either because men have been the dominant force throughout history or because they "don't understand" women's feelings. In most cases, men actually don't have an opportunity to say when they do understand, or if they do, women don't believe them. Why? Because women lie themselves, so why should they believe a man? Who do you think men learn lying from? Certainly it's not from other men, oh no, because everyone knows we can trust politicians. - Which is a good time to say I'll give up my guns when politicians stop lying

So when do women tell the truth? As stated above, women have to complain first, and this is the only time they are really vulnerable, next to having a whoregasm.- I will note however, that if a woman ISN'T complaining but breaks down crying during a conversation, she genuinely is vulnerable; although if she telling the truth or not is another issue for debate. - During a complaint, which is almost an equivalent to the holocaust (not the Jew one, the tee-pee Indian one), men suffer from what is known as Ignoratio elenchi. 

Legal only in Yemen

Ignoratio elenchi is when a man's brain suffers relentlessly from the mental attacks and games of women to the point where all logical functions fail, resulting in a reboot of the brain (or mental system). This system could invariably stay offline for as long as the woman expressing complaints wants, or until she breaks down and cries as a ploy to excuse her whiny behavior, at which point the man's mental functions are temporarily regained. Functions such as pride and "Can I still get laid this week?" are the first to come back online, as he must somehow be able to manage through the wall of noise that bewildered his senses. If he is successful at negotiating through this task and test, as women are always testing men, the damaged, but still existent relationship will continue, for how long? Well, no one can time the market. Completion of a test of that nature is a nice way to say he sacrifices and takes the blame for her short-comings, or no comings if she is incapable of reaching climax, but we can't take her word for it anyway, unless she's complaining or has a whoregasm.

Some of these complaints range from "How chauvinistic of you to buy me a vacuum for Christmas..." to "You don't understand my feelings."* Of course men don't (always) understand. Men don't bleed for five days without dying. And furthermore, biologically speaking, men can fuck, whereas women get fucked. Women cannot fuck other women, but men can fuck other men, and delving into that further is too filthy and depressing anyhow. The problem is that women are socially designed to not solve problems or feelings WITH their partner (i.e. a man) - [evidence, look at any picture involving women]. In most cases when women do make an effort to solve problems in that fashion (not clothes), and yet it is with the same posterity and pride that they learn from men, women assume shutting men down with complaints will not solve anything. Of course this secret step is one where only the veterans of 25 year old marriages or longer would be able to perform. The point is that women put on an extra persona to solve issues, after which they store away that persona and go about their business as if nothing has changed.

What women look like
on the inside.

The only break in this persona is when women encounter the weather. Weather such as a violent, cold, and callous rain, kind of like most of their dialog. But I digress. The weather reveals their true self, as the weather usually is a reflection on the absence of warm and sunshine in their heart, or soul for that matter, although there are exceptions. Or rather the weather disassembles the defense mechanisms women need to compete with other women in complaining to or about other men, and, but not limited to, other women! Some women intellectually are usually all there, since they are veterans of complaining ad nauseum. In either case, the weather reveals their true self and so when you hear them coming in from the monsoon outside your building or home, and they declare "I'm wet!" You shouldn't take this lightly!

How men really want to feel:
big and important, which is
why most politicians are fat.

However, I'm sure there are exceptions, just like excusing the small penis of a man with a large Ford F350 (V8, diesel).

*Responding with, "Häagen-Dazs foooor yooou!!" is the only appropriate response, followed by motioning towards a refrigerator with said super premium ice cream. If no Häagen-Dazs is available, GTFO.

NEXT WEEK:  
MEN, AND THE MYSTERY OF FLEETING SELF-ESTEEM AND OTHER EMOTIONAL FEELINGS. A.K.A Feelings are real?