After I dropped "K" off I took a drive. Of course K asked about you, actually it was more of me explaining about you to him, since I had not seen him in such a long time. For K it was probably difficult at times for him to hear about you. Compounded by his long flight up and down to reach my location. We sat and caught up as much as we could for 2 hours, which isn't enough by any means since you were brought up.
When K stepped out of the car, I couldn't stop but reminisce about you further, and although some of those feelings were painful in terms of looking back, I kept driving. It almost seemed appropriate for me to drive at night, if I were to be driving at all. Since I doubt children are wandering around industrial areas at 3:30am in the morning, it makes sense to drive at odd hours. The radio, or CD player rather, played a song that made things not only worse, but almost took my mind and spirit out of the car. If I didn't have shoulders to weigh them down, maybe they would have left my body and I would have crashed. Then would I have woken up?
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| From an Ebony magazine I had, 1960s if I recall correctly. |
I pulled in around 4am, or so to get away from the day-dreams. In the hills I could see the glowing red pillars. If anything it just reminded me of the ethereal nature of your behaviorisms, which only confused me further. I sat back in the seat and took in the music as I drove me, spacing out most of the way as the music blanketed my mind.
Parking I couldn't help but wonder if coffee was a good idea this late at night or if I deserved the pig-vomit'ish taste it created in my mouth. Remaining well after I finished more than half. Maybe when I think of you, it's as if I'm "reaching for a taste that's not really there."
Even if I walked a mile - not for a camel - I'd find something, but it probably wouldn't be you.
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