2011年10月3日 It doesn't matter anyhow

None of this shit is safe for work, safe for home use, or safe at all. 

Don't read this if you are a sensitive little girl, or you do not want to see graphic images of stuff that you could only imagine Catholic priests performing on small children (little boys) with impunity.

Krimull and I chatted briefly online, and I jokingly told him it's my fault for helping him to join the (ch)Air-force. He often gripes, happily however, that his boss (wife) more or less tells him what to do after he is finished with work. So in reality he has two jobs. While I'm somewhat envious, I can imagine how much nicer it is to enjoy the silence I have, although I do enjoy dialog. 

Anyhow, we starting talking about that age old proverb, "Happy wife, equals happy life." Then we started joking about couches and flesh-lights - the only things you'll have left when your wife is angry, - because when the wife ain't happy, neither is life.

Anyhow Krimull ended up telling me about a Franken-dildo. 

I was shocked

My mind exploded 

and I called the Megazord to investigate. 

It's morphin time! [Link]

First of all, I didn't even know Franken-dicks and zombie-dildos existed. I knew that other religious toys existed [link], but I had no idea, no idea at all about zombie, cyborg, etc, alien dildos existed let alone their flesh-light counter-parts. More info here.

HOLY SHIT!

Seriously, could you imagine if your girlfriend, boyfriend, Tom Selleck or whoever, pulled out one of these? I really would have to call the Megazord, just to GTFO. Why anyone would want a zombie-dildo is beyond me. Actually I'm am curious to know what kind of people order these things? Do they go to therapy? Do they go to church? Are they Catholics? Jews don't buy dildos unless the dildo converts into a dreidel. This helps them save money, which is 33.33 percent of being a Jew.

He's one sick fucker.

I'm sure the people who buy these things, including the zombie-cunt flesh-light, probably have some serious issues, like fantasizing sexual intercourse with Hamburglar on top of half-eaten big-macs.

At some point the High Holy One is, no not Chuck Norris- is going to come down and blow a gasket over this kind of shit. He'll be like,
"Y'know I thought Sodom was bad, but now you've gone too far with zombie dildos. Game over folks!" All the while Hamburglar is still using the cyborg flesh-light, with lube, albeit from the special sauce put in big-macs.

Why are these things allowed to exist? I can only think of two uses for them.

1) Torturing prisoners.
Example: "If you don't give us the codes, we will rape you with a zombie dick."

2) Dropping them on Muslim countries, with notes attached saying,
"This is what your dick or cunt will end up looking like if you don't comply."

The only thing that is unfortunate about this whole situation is that discovery of these things makes me wonder if I could have come up with a good costume for Halloween. Too bad, as I don't believe in that holiday anymore because I want to be a Jew. 

See! 

I'm already saving money!