2011年12月13日 Elephants and Smiths

I heard something that sounded like the Smiths, 

Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...

I was wondering why the hell I was there. Maybe I was passing time. It happens whenever I'm irritated with the quality of life or rather, with the quality of the atmosphere I happen to exist in. Some people would include a whole country with that assessment, I happen to just mean the state level at present. Would it have gone anyway if that were different? I doubt it.

I still heard the lyrics. 

"Yep, that's the Smiths." 

I thought. Of course I knew the lyrics were the Smiths, but I couldn't ID the cover band. It didn't matter. I sat there for about an hour or so. My company whom on short notice I invited, neither messaged me back nor showed up. Neither of which bothered me more than my isolation and self-alienation-ation-ation-ation. 

It does feel that way though. 

Sitting there alone, wondering why the sun is in my eyes, cutting across the sky faster than I can negotiate the quality of life.

Some company came in, not mine, but I recognized them anyhow. I felt bad that our conversation got messy, or rather, my contrarian nature alienated them. They weren't ready to battle me, and by battle me, I mean battle their own feelings. I don't want people to fight their own character or feelings, but rather if they disagree, I want them to at least explain why they want their feelings to dictate government policy (state or otherwise). Most people cannot do it, and in a sense I feel bad for them. I've always been bothered by people who say, "You don't need this." or "You don't need that." Especially whenever it's in regards to something they don't have or want in their own life. I've always felt that most people just want to control other people indirectly so that they can life an isolated and safe life. Yet, I don't think they will get what they want without a sufficient amount of sedative medications. For everyone.

I walked out, and away.

The feeling of that song followed me didn't it?

I think it did.

I guess that's why I have a Rockstar?

Probably.

***

I walked into a place that reminded be of student-operated bars in Japan.

A guy darker than a cloudy night explained to me:

Elephants are strange, very strange. At night, it was around 6pm. It was very dark. Very dark. A girl in another village, visiting someone, was walking home alone. It was far away from her home. There was an elephant. An elephant coming through forest onto the road. It was in the dark. They do not see well, and they are very absent minded.

I thought about my sister.

The elephant walks without thinking. This elephant and this girl walking on the same road. She has baby [sic], okay? She is around 18.

Although I think I heard him say 16. 

"WTF" is the appropriate response, but my face didn't change because I continued to assume he was talking about Kenya and not certain parts of Wyoming.

They approach a corner like this.

He pointed along the edge of a cardboard coaster. 

They meet around here and ZFFFFFT! They ran away. The elephant this way and the girl the other way back to the village.

***

Dude, not even your mustache
will save you.

I walked out about 20 minutes later wondering what the fuck was going on.

Elephants. I felt like the great white one in that room. There wasn't anymore music. It didn't matter.

I wasn't sure what else to say about that guy's story, among the several he explained to me.

We had shook hands and I gave him my gloves, as he had none.

I thought it was funny that he should have brought up elephants. 

It was two-fifty to see them today. I know this since I had seen them earlier.

I walked away and reflected on why I secretly have a love-hate relationship with ear-bud headphones, mainly because I had urinated one them once when they feel into the urinal.

Hum-di-dum, I heard lyrics again.

This time more ethereal than when I was sitting down.

I was delayed, I was way-laid

An emergency stop

I smelt the last ten seconds of life

I crashed down on the crossbar

And the pain was enough to make

A shy, bald, Buddhist reflect

And plan a mass murder

Who said I'd lied to her ?

When I closed the bathroom door I was so grateful that I had something to do the next day. Not because there was something to be done, but because I had something that I alone had to do, and this wasn't a job or an experience I could pass along to someone else.