2011年12月10日 Wait what? A tattoo

Try explaining this
to your mother in law.
By the way, imagine having
 this above your cock or vag.

I think Tattoos are pretty cool, but I wouldn't get one. 

Why? Because for some reason I feel like I'm violating my body, yet not because I'll grow old and it might look like shit later on. Without shaving I look like shit anyhow. Rather it is because I believe in something that goes against getting a tattoo. No it's not because I'm insecure. And not because I don't believe I can subscribe to anything on a permanent basis (i.e. I'll change my mind later or regret it), as I already believe in certain things on a permanent basis. So for me, I don't want a tattoo since it will interfere with my spiritual and religious beliefs and obligations. However, if I had a significant other and they had one: I'd think that's kind of hot. Not having one is fine too.

With that said, I got the following offer for a tattoo. It's in regards to my iPod which I listed on craigslist. Even though I had already planned to sell it to Fozzjnen, - Foz saw my ad and knows I have to pay for certain things, as I need to bus everywhere now that the car is dead. It doesn't help that I live out the boonies, but whatever.

So I decided to reply to the following email, even though I already was sale-pending-funds with Fozzjnen.

I will trade you a tattoo or a tattoo gift certificate for it [iPod].

See my work at: [omitted] 

Give me, [Dave], a call at [omitted] to make an appointment. This is offer is with [DAVE] only! I work seven days a week noon to close. No one under age 18 please... yes, bring your [...] State ID or US Passport. 

I work in an [...] State Licensed, Clean, 100% Real Tattoo Shop, [address omitted,...] and I use hospital sterile (one use) disposable needles and hospital sterile tubes.

Wait what? "Real Tattoo Shop" compared to a "Fake Tattoo Shop"?

Seems kind of redundant to say, "I'm licensed and real." Wait, so if you're not license, you're.... Imaginary?

Here's what I said:

Hi [Dave],
I must say I am tempted by your offer, but I cannot have a tattoo. :|
Sincerely,
Eric

I did not expect the reply he gave [sic]:

I promise you wont go to hell for getting a tattoo.... they just tell people that. 

Its not true. Really.

His work isn't that bad either,
but skulls and shit seem like they're for 18
year old kids in the Navy or USMC

Wait, what?

First, how the hell does he know I won't go to hell? 

And second, who is they? Is that like "Who is we you sucka?" [Link] 

I couldn't understand what this dude thought he was saying to me. I'm sure he thought I was fresh fruit, unblemished by anything other than fundamentalist Catholics. Well, considering 3 of 5 people in my immediate family have tattoos, I think I'm doing well with not having one. My dad and I being the only two left not to have any voluntary tattoos.

So I said this, and did not get a reply:

Well, actually it's against Halacha so I can't. I'll have a hard time explaining it to my Rabbi when I do mikveh next (ritual bathing for purity purposes).

Eric

More stuff by the guy

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I would have traded my iPod for him getting circumcised by a mohel.

I also have yet to explain to most of my friends that even though I'm already circumcised, I still have to have blood drawn from my cock to fully convert to Judaism. The only thing left to circumcise is the heart. Without doing that, callouses could build and I'd lose emotional and spiritual sensitivity. Ha-ha!

He did have a lot of impressive stuff, but I'd have to re-upload it to protect his identity.