I used to be perfect

Somehow I will never understand how people can visibly ask a person,

"Are you okay?"

When that person is clearly not okay. This often happens to me when I'm limping.

"Is your knee giving you trouble?"

"No, today I just shit my pants so bad, I temporarily paralyzed my leg."

 These questions are even worse when people apologize.

"I'm sorry if I offended you."

Surely, you've heard of that before, either directly or as you listen in on another's conversation.

Usually people use that phrase when they HAVE already offended people, but due to complex verbal judo of the ninth degree an offender is able to flank responsibility for a few more seconds.

I'm one of the worst offenders.