2012年6月20日 Throwing Away + Family

My dad told me Sunday the following:

"I thought I saw you after you were walking by with your diploma. I gestured that we should get the fuck outta here and get some drinks. Then I flipped you off. That's when I realized I wasn't gesturing to you and it was someone else."

My mom had surgery for some kind of pre-cancer surgery today. I don't know the details, and she seems to be on the QT regarding the details, but I'm sticking with, "She has cancer." Until the final verdict is in. It's easier for me to prepare for the worst when it never comes, versus preparing on the fly.

Today I also realized that memories, friendship, and tools are more important than anything else. No tool will make me happy, but the best tool I have is knowledge. It's also depressing, because frankly speaking I don't like knowing things sometimes, but it paints a clearer picture that way. I also know that I'll never be able to take everything with me on my adventures, including some people.

***

In the garage there was a box that said, "FUCK ASS HEAVY."

I wrote that on the box about 6 months ago. Like most of my other things, this box had to go, even though it wasn't mine. The dimensions were 16.5 x 18 x 16 inches. It weighed about 40 lbs or more. When I cut it open I was kind of disappointed since it literally was a "FUCK ASS HEAVY" box. Not only was the box heavy in general, but it also had a lot of "FUCK ASS" porn, probably 50 DVDs, a 100 CDs, and over 50 magazines and books of anal porn and spanking. 

"This ALL must be thrown out she said." I wasn't surprised she said that. I was more or less surprised I wasn't given a heads up about it in advance that way I could avoid opening it altogether. I felt bad he lost stuff that I was supposed to be holding onto for him, but I had told him 5 months ago that in March, April, and May, I had to get them OUT immediately. Eventually, I ran out of time, and I couldn't figure out a good time to get them into someone else's hands, nor help them unload the boxes.

The guy who could have picked them up was a frail man who'd be no good lifting even 20lbs, much less lifting 40 lbs of anal porn.