I can't identify which is worse: doing nothing but sitting, or making my leg go straight. When I sit for more than an hour my leg hurts a bit. When I make my leg straight as possible, I can just feel all of my energy draining from my body, emotional too.
In the past I would want to take a large hammer and... But this feeling also drains me from having thoughts like that. When I mean draining, I mean exhaustion. That's how it feels. It feels like I found the exhaustion button and I'm pressing it.
PT is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to that.
It depresses me that a total stranger is going to be more motivation for me than my own family or friends regarding this issue. I suppose this is why we need physical therapists, because part of there job is to be that safe and secure person who wants the patient to actually recover, whereas psychologists want to exploit* the victimization of a person so that they have a strong (and sometimes interesting) client base.
*Just kidding, for now anyway.
Aftermath.
I wrote this a few hours ago after getting to work, then I realized after getting out of the desk and standing in a single position without moving more than a foot or so per hour was just worse. The constant standing without much continuous movement is just too damn draining.
I have half a mind to change the title of this entry to "Fuck" #004.
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