2012年4月29日 Loose-leaf

Things around us

Over the years, almost a decade now?
Anyway, for almost a decade I've written often.

Sometimes I've wrote about life, death, dreams, short (and shitty) stories, fiction, non-fiction, domestic violence, depression, suicide, happiness, animals, ninjas, and whatever else I could think of.

I guess it also falls under "is it fiction" but most, if not all, of the IIF stuff I write is strictly for this blog alone. I have a label called "FTB" called "From the book(s)". Well actually it should also include loose-leaf papers, because this morning I found one.

Here it is,

When I first kissed another woman, long after we had ended I knew my heart would never let you go. My lips became metal tacks and broken glass, the fluids became warped & soupy. I felt like I was going to vomit, the tar being pushed down my throat. It was my tongue, & hers. A sunflower started growing out of her mouth into mine, as my lips tore into the flower. Pleasure, pain, & joy. Nothing that would signify having a soul existed. I could feel & see the flower's fluid dripping down on our chins.

It was black like my own tar tongue fluid. Soupy, it tasted like a 9-volt & blood. Her eyes had electric eels swimming in her pupils. 

I woke up after being vomited out a shark with a beak. 

I saw a man holding a shotgun to his stomach, one he fired & blew his guts & intestine out I could see children behind him with their mouths open, catching the blood & guts with mouths that opened as high as my eyes. 

He turned the shotgun on me & fired a trident at my forehead. I felt full, & refreshed with vigor, until an Eagle perched on the trident then flew me away over a volcano of boiling spiders. The island volcano was a giant tarantula of lush forests, trying to float in an ocean of sand & blood. 

The Eagle wiggled the trident out of my skull & I could see photographs of you flying out of my eyes, mouth, & wound. 

I fell up, as if jumping into the volcano. 

The spiders feasted upon my body, while the spiders eating me were being eaten by other spiders. 

When I woke up I was sideways in the shower, breathing blood, steam, air, & hot water.

I saw an unhappy man looking at me, then I remembered you crying.

My body felt hotter than the water. 

When I saw a flash from the man,

I woke up in a bed next to the woman, & I cried because it wasn't you.