2012年2月11日 Sim Shalom

I can't tell you what happened when it did.

Maybe most of the free beer is talking. 

I don't know.

Sim shalom tova uvracha

It repeats in my head along with Shoshana Damari's song about הרועה הקטנה מהגיא. I wish I could say more about today. The shortest version is bullet points.

• Woke up around 6am for shul
• Got to shul around 8:10am, I was first
• 9:40am, people at shul was pretty meager
• Kiddush. Had wine. I try not to miss the wine part among, eating to live, and sing praises to God, who is out there watching out for the treasured people.
• 3pm. The "round table" more or less was pretty crowded and lively as high hell, outside of our retired spy agent(s) who some how didn't appear
• I was invited out for some kind of vaudeville acts
• We waited at Thai restaurant with cross-dressing waiters, until the nearby theater opened.
• My headache from a day before went away after I had entered the theater and had a beer.
• My beer was paid for
• Food I remember getting was paid for
• I remember hot chicks dressed in 20's and 30's clothing playing ukelele
• I remember going home and needing to piss.  
• I started talking with a Marla Singer-looking chick who kind of looked like Helena Carter. She said that she drank a lot of beer and needed to piss. 
• We talked casually about being in the same position, buzzed, and needing to piss.
• We got on the same bus.
• She sat next to me 
• She started telling me I was cute. I had shaved in the morning, so that might have been why.
• She was at least 6 years younger than myself
• She kissed me several times on my cheek telling me I was cute.
• She had some kind of Tim-Burton style hat, ala Nightmare Before Christmas, I think the skull was of "Jack" but I've never seen the film.
• I asked her for her ID. I saw a PCC ID
• I saw her ID and saw 1990 for year of DOB
• She kissed me again, this time on the lips.
• She did it again, pulling closer
• I resisted with a FORCE OF VIOLENCE response: I kissed her back as she advanced to my lips.
• She said we might get kicked off the bus.
• I said she'd kick me off the bus
• We made out for about 2 seconds until it was my stop
• I winked at her as I got off the bus. She seemed caught off guard. I did it again while I was on the sidewalk
• I ran to my backpack. I could hear HUUUUUUUUUuUUUUUUHHHHhhhhH-HHHHFHFHFUUHHHHGGHGHHHHGHG as I breathed. I don't think I heard anything else.
• Stopping to catch my breath I felt intense pain in my knee.
• Free beer prevented this pain until I stopped.
• I remembered Shoshana Damari again
• I actually like Ruti Navon better, but I may be 20 years off....
• I thought about that Marla-esque chick. She made-out with a complete stranger.
• I made out with a complete stranger!
• I got home and thought about Sim Shalom and the porno flute I mentioned earlier.

Yep

Fuck my life,

I didn't expect the day to end the way it did. I suppose that's the wondrous thing about life sometimes, everything comes at us at once.
Those lyrics came back as I typed up what I genuinely believe as the truth. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. This isn't a seminar, this isn't a weekend retreat. 

....It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything....Everything is falling apart.

I almost want to invite you to this place.
It's amazing, scary, and worse, God actually answers in this place.

2012年2月10日 12 Hours

I had gotten home yesterday from feeling like total shit. So I decided to eat something and go to sleep. I didn't expect that I would eventually hibernate for 12 hours. Worse, I had two dreams in the process, or one dream broken into two parts.

The first dream, which was a mishmash of over hearing NCIS, Law & Order: STFU - where TF in lieu of V, - and a bus. Yes a bus. A bus similar to the ones in my city for daily use. I don't remember anything from that dream except that I would wake up every so often and then go back to sleep. I eventually was driving the bus around down, it was like Grand Theft Auto IV, except without the illegal stuff.

Even the food in my
dreams gets fucked up!

I must take a moment to say, during the transition to the next dream or its beginning, I vividly remember taking a break from the bus and making french toast with eggs no bigger than a peeled and sectioned portion of a Mandarin orange. Eventually my French toast was left alone while I was cooking it, as I scrambled to do other duties. When I came back someone I knew had finished them. The toast was burnt. It didn't look like French toast, and the small eggs were done sunny-side up and placed in between the burnt pieces of toast! I don't think any of it except the eggs were edible.

The next dream, which was more realistic, but not hyper realistic like some of my past dreams, still retained the bus. At some point during the dream I was driving the bus again. This time the driver got off the bus and asked me to take over. I did. I was driving around in the rain at nighttime, in some hilly area, but still populated. Eventually I took a wrong turn and the passengers and I all took a break. This might have been when I made the toast. I don't remember the timeline well but I remember what happened. That situation was settled and we got back in and went back the correct way. Along the way, I must have taken another wrong turn, which led us into a mountainous region with a lot of fog and nearly impossible turns for a bus.

My dream may suck, but
it's still better than this movie

I asked for help from the back of the bus from some passengers to tell me if they could see through the fog, but no one helped. It was so dense, you could not see beyond 5 feet, even with all lights on. After what seemed like hours we got off the mountain into an open town with large buildings and with construction workers under a bridge or near a major highway. There was a lot of snow, but the fog was gone and the sun was out. I took a wrong turn into the construction zone, but found a way out. Before taking the way out I parked the bus to check our location. The sun had come out almost like a nice late spring day.

I got out of the bus looked around, and realized I was in Japan. When I looked back at the bus, it had disappeared and in its place was a touring bus. I ignored it and tried to read was on the side of the bus. Then a petite Japanese looking woman got out of the bus. She was wearing what looked like almost nothing in terms of the size of the dress she was wearing. I realized she looked broken down and depressed. I asked her what was wrong as we walked over to the compartment section of the bus. She took luggage out and mumbled something in Japanese to me, I yelled at her back and told her to respond. The dialog was in Japanese. She said that her period had started and it was bad, so bad that another passenger saw it and laughed at her, which is why she got off the bus her first chance.

I think she was looking for her luggage or something else clothes wise.

Right then I realized it was a dream and I woke up.
I had 20 minutes to catch my bus for work.

Welcome to Japan

2012年2月9日 Personal messages

Today my knee hurt so bad I gave up with trying to exist around others. I couldn't focus on anything, and I wasn't necessary for sticking around, so I left.

I got home, checked my email and found out that,

"Of all the students I have gotten to know over the past years as 'den mother', you have shown the most rapid development in 'getting what Judaism is all about!'

Faith, community and learning, learning, learning are a way of life and your personal decisions about how much of those ideals you make a part of your daily living will determine how you proceed as a Jew."

Hey, at least there was good news! Now I'm going to soak in the bath... 

2012年2月8日 YesssS!

I never thought I would find a theme to a film, albeit adult in nature, which is over 30 years old. The theme itself it's just priceless it terms of how it is displayed in the movie, it was also a time where porno actually had decent music, by decent I mean if it doesn't turn you on then at least it could make you laugh.

I think in terms of adult films, if I ever were to own one (i.e. physical DVD or some other medium) it would be The Opening of Misty Beethoven. Mainly because this film itself has so many good lines. Even if one were to skip over all the pornographic scenes in the film displaying X or Y organs, some with pipes, one could genuinely say the film scores at a C+ to B level in terms of quality. Dialogue wise, it certainly is at the standard of, if not above and beyond, romantic comedy films of today. You can find a better "daba-da" here (URL, SFW), which is much more campy and ear friendly.

An example of people who
enjoy "easy tempo" music

The downside about new(er) adult films is that the music sucks, the acting sucks (literally), and more often than not, one would probably have a better viewing experience if they watched premium cable soft-core-porn. Of course the alternative that I'm suggesting, which is watching porn from the mid-70's or within that decade is almost akin to watching steel workers covered in wool garments hug each other for hours. Yet films of those years are still promising in other areas: such as music, which is the purpose of today's lesson.

This search primarily was initiated because of the previous NSFW film whose URL and music I suggested in a previous post. I found out the composer for that film was Alain Goraguer under the name "Paul Vernon". This inspired a massive search for groovy psychedelic music that, while not replacing The Price Is Right theme or cues still, would stand at a proud second.

What I do while listening
to funky-ass music.

The music I wanted to find is mainly for those early mornings when the sun appears as a disgusting small film on the horizon, no bigger than a distant contrail. Not for imagining gay construction workers getting all sweaty, or whacking off in a camper.

Thinking again about the sun lingering only on the horizon, I watch how dark clouds intercept and try to control my immediate sky above. But it's unable to expand to the horizon as the early morning sun slightly penetrates, with permission of course. See ORS 163.412.

It's a nasty sight to see a yellow glow like that. The color reminds me of cheap crayons made in the 70's. Of course, that last bit was just this morning, but most mornings suck anyhow when I'm not paying total attention.

After searching and searching for some kind of other music which I could say is inspiring, I found the following:

Music like this, while maybe someone might say is shallow, it still retains that slick, cool-cat, bare-backing, all-natur~al, silk on a butt, butter on the grits, kind of smooth touch feeling, that I like when I trudge about.

Anyone else have music they like listening to when they need an upbeat or inspiring moment?*

The alternative is succumbing to ED. And I don't mean Ed(ucation)...

*Tenacious D counts

More fun,

Oh man there are too many, so here is a few...
I Gres - To Jean Luc
Keith Papworth - Morning Trip
Armando Trovajoli - Decisione

2012年2月7日 Sicko'd

I'm not lying, when I say
that I can't make this shit up.

Sometimes when I watch videos of rappers in large groups dancing, I almost feeling like Michael J. Fox is controlling their movements with some kind of human scale marionette controller.

Sources:

Snoop Dogg (should start at 2:26 automatically)

Snake Hips

***

Last night was terrible. I was unable to get into a decent position so that I could get some sleep. Being congested fucked with consistent breathing, moreover, when I was able to get into a good position, my knee started to hurt terribly. It took me over five hours to get 5 hours of sleep. Albeit most of that sleep was interrupted due to chest and knee pain. So far, I'm slowly feeling like I'm getting better, but now my nose is getting out of control. There's as much discharge as there are from whores in Australia. Crickey!

Nightmares reoccur occasionally, and my last major one was Sunday morning. My drinking has been cut down to nothing, mainly because I can't afford it and because some of my other objectives, goals, and (wet-)dreams are more important.

I was reminded again today of a short story that pissed me off, and maybe it's because of the above mentioned nightmares.

It's called "Suigetsu." A short story by Kawabata Yasunari. At some point in the story the narrator reflecting on her first husband, before his death due to TB (Total-Bitch syndrome), is told by her second husband that,

"Healthy love is something that only exists in healthy people". 

Sounds like she married a total asshole. Too bad for her previous husband, obviously he wasn't cool enough to fight TB and live. Interestingly enough, my lungs make me feel as if I'm suffering in the same manner... But I digress.

Frankly speaking, I suppose what irritates me about being sick is that I know when I'm sick I can't pay attention to new instruction sometimes. Other things, yes, such as observational skills when mentally assessing something function slightly slower than normal, or at the same pace, but being patient enough to watch someone's mannerisms and wonder if they're okay, or taking time to acknowledge that is something is difficult when I'm sick.

Sharp and constant pain almost encourages zero patience when my knee is hurting to the max (see volume set to 11). Of course, I may appear callous and probably am, but I am more concerned with helping that person off the ground than letting them lie there. Talking to them about why they are on the ground, while they are still there is for counselors and people with no dicks or balls. This doesn't mean, though it might imply, that I ignore what put them there on the ground. Absolutely not, I would or have, always pulled people up eagerly in my dick-ish-way telling them how they failed as I stand them up. Of course, I can't stand anyone up, even myself if they are unwilling or unable. I know this well, as I have PVNS.

I can say that my bravery to face PVNS and still smile says at least something... If I had a theme song, it would reluctantly be Brave Sir Robin's

Now that I'm sick and the day is through, 
I'm going to lie down and dream of the blue, 

crack rocks, and music of French porno (URL) flicks*,
Making me think about why I'm sick.


*(NSFW, start at 57minutes)

2012年2月6日 Woah

What a well done video. It basically covers issues I'm already aware of, especially with towns like Sderot. Frankly speaking, whenever I heard Muslims talking like the one's in the video, especially from a religious point, I almost cringe. 

It's kind of sad that if I showed this to people at school they would say everything in the video is "Bullshit." Of course those same people would see a video like below and consider it tolerable (NSFW, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE)

Fools, danace with me again...

Militant Islam, militant religions, or militant political ideas of any kind always remind me of desperateness that is often associated with hatred, sometimes boredom, but usually the latter is reserved for people who are HIGHLY intelligent or extremely bored.

If you've been watching the news you know things are getting worse!

2012年2月5日 Sicko

I've been under the weather lately. Most of my time is spent avoiding headaches and doing my best to avoid my knee. Congestion and a stuffy nose seem to be the perpetrators of these symptoms. I coughed up and spit out some mucus this morning into the toilet, noticing a large portion of it was blood. The unpleasantness of that sight, led me to the kitchen, and got a Pepsi.